marți, 20 aprilie 2010

My necessity room


This is me back in 1994. It feels like it was taken ages ago, worlds ago and so many mirrors ago...which have kept intact through the years but have been blackwashed somehow and stored in an attic where I can't seem to be able to reach anymore...Sometimes reflecting flashes show me the way to that attic where all my mirrors found refuge. I never look for that attic even though I'm sure if I tried hard enough I could...because you see that attic is some sort of a Necessity Room, like the one at Hogwards (pour les connoisseurs), all you have to do is really wish to be there and bang! You're there!:)

Lately I have been reminded of things I did and said in the past and even though they're all ME it still feels like they all belong to someone else whom I admire but who's seemingly lost forever...somehwere while working, while trying to become conventional, shallow, boring, polite, a face in the crowd, while trying to fit in, while worrying about money, my job, while shopping, buying mobile phones, losing friends, making friends, loving, getting my heart broken into a million pieces, while moving on and walking on with no apparent time for old or new mirrors for that matter...well, during this so natural and commonest process I've lost my way to that attic...It's definitely time to find it. I've had enough of this mirrorless me.

6 comentarii:

Anonim spunea...

"The past is a different country. They do things differently there."

~ N

Gal Friday spunea...

This writing of yours here touched me deeply because I, too, have those feelings often. But I have reached a point where I am content with who I have become--I think it is better to be like you-- still yearning.
That photo is beautiful and magical--and I am sure that happy nymph is still inside you and always will be!
And...I love the quote from Anonim spunea, from one of my favorite books(The Go-Between)--a perfect comment to this entry.

Allie spunea...

You look so cute in that picture ! If you believe me, there's no difference between 94' and now. You are looking the same... the only thing which is different,is the hair color which fits you the best ! xoxo :)

Patricia spunea...

Thank you, N, this quote is priceless...:)

Tina, I wish so much to be content, I'd have so many reasons to do so, yet I can't...hopefully that will change..

Thanks, Idk, that surely makes me feel better!;)

Anonim spunea...

Rethinking the paste makes me hope that some day we'll meet again and stay and chat. I'd surely like that very much.

Patricia spunea...

That would be great, Flori, I'm sure we will!